I am an introvert.
No, seriously. I’m an introvert. I’m so introverted it’s crippling at times. That’s when I have to create a punishment system to drive myself out of my purple cave. My roommates think it’s funny. They like when I start trying to work through some of my introvert issues because it means they might actually see for some reason other than I’m hungry or in need of massive amounts of cocoa. (It also generally means I’m about to do something that will leave one of them a laughing stock, but they seem to think this is okay.)
I have repeatedly taken the Myers-Briggs test as part of various college courses, and up until a year or two ago, they all came back saying I’m an INFJ (now an INFP, apparently). The great thing about the Myers-Briggs is that you generally get to see the scales when you get your report. I’m right on the line on every single scale EXCEPT the Extrovert-Introvert scale, where I’m squarely on the Introvert side.
I’m an introvert.
Surprisingly, a number of the bloggers I run into are also introverts, many of them fellow INFJs. It’s kind of interesting. We’re all here for our own reasons, but the fact is…we’re here. Hiding out online.
Lorelle on WordPress shared an article yesterday on blogging for introverts. Many of us commented (you should all pat me on the back). I scanned the article briefly, and then went back and read it. Somehow, my introverted self felt a bit miffed. For starters, I feel mostly confident in my knowledge. I’m a teacher, for crying out loud! One who just finally launched a blog that will hopefully lead to a couple of books sharing my knowledge on math and writing. I’m considered brilliant, and I don’t generally question that.
Secondly, introverts are supposed to shy away from any form of criticism. Funny that…one of the reasons my directors like me at work is because I don’t mind taking corrections. I confused Sensei routinely because I worked to apply corrections she gave me, but would then become frustrated with myself because I was taking too long (in my own opinion) to internalize the corrections. I even received a subscription on deviantArt last year after taking a critique graciously. (Everyone else said it was overly harsh, but I found that he addressed many of the concerns that had been running in the back of my mind in very helpful ways.) While there are people in my life who manage not to frame their corrections and criticism in a manner I will take, I can generally handle criticism, and even seek it out on things I’m working on.
I can have my low self-esteem days. I can withdraw to the point of doing myself serious psychological harm. But the simple fact of the matter is I’m an introvert who can find some relief for her introversion here in the blogosphere.